So, why do I need to learn French and why do I need to learn it in four months? Well, I have a new French girlfriend, who's invited me to a chic Parisian wedding next April. There's €500 bowls on the wedding list. Sophisticated cousins. Rich uncles. "So, would you like to go?", she asks. "Hell, yeah," I answered. "Well, you better learn French, then. I don't want you being an assisté".
I didn't know what an assisté was. And the fact that I didn't know, made me think I probably was one.
And I was right. An assisté is a variety of loser, specifically, one who needs assistance. All the time. There's no way I wanted to be one of those. So, I decided, right away, I was going to learn French. To fluency. In four months...
Let's see how it goes.